Phewww...Ballet is Off to a Good Start

In case you hadn't heard, Sydney was all but kicked out of gymnastics about a year ago. Well, I exaggerate. But to make a long story short, her attention span/interest level was lacking compared to her peers and what was supposed to be fun for her had turned into a lesson in futility and anxiety for me. And I didn't exactly care for the dynamics of the class and teacher, for that matter.

(The long story is this, if you're interested: Parents were asked to wait downstairs in the more structured class we were trying, so when Sydney had a tantrum the first day--about not getting to sit on the purple dot, which doesn't surprise me--the teacher sent for me. But when I arrived, Sydney was on the sidelines too upset and too young to communicate fully and I had no idea how to handle it because the teacher was carrying on with the class. So I didn't know exactly what had happened from the teacher until later that night by email. The bottom line is this: if you're not willing/able to redirect a 3-year old during a gymnastics class, you'd better let the parent stay in the room so they can observe what happened.)

So, I took her out of the gymnastics class and went straight to Brian's office to have her diagnosed with ADHD. And while he told me it's too early to tell, he did give me a handout on ADHD, which fit her to a T. So, ever since, I've been a little worried. But I take comfort in the fact that my mom always said I had the "attention span of a gnat" when I was a toddler/preschooler, so I figure there's hope for her! (If you consider me "normal," that is...)

Anyway, Sydney was a natural at ballet today, which was a delight and a bit of a relief. She's petite, she's girly and loves pink, she only wants to wear dresses, and she loves to twirl around on her pointed toes to classical music! If only the biggest girl in the class hadn't accidentally elbowed her in the ear right before the cool down, she might've made it all the way to the end of the first class! Regardless, we'll be back for more. But not tomorrow, as she'd hoped.

Brian's Virtual/Remote 35th Birthday Party!

Ever since we mailed Brian's birthday care package off to him about three weeks ago, Sydney and Miranda have been very concerned that Daddy is not home for his birthday--and more importantly, that he is not getting a birthday cake. So, instead of making a real one to eat in his absence (most of which I would end up eating), I decided we would have a pretend virtual birthday party for Daddy! The girls were more than okay with this because I never discussed with them the option of a real cake just for them without Daddy...

Here's the 2-dimensional cake and a message Sydney drew for Daddy. (I only drew the ovals to get the cake started and helped her spell as she made all the letters herself.) She was quick to fold it and hopped up out of her chair, ready to squirrel it away in an envelope, but I quickly rescued it and told her we needed to send it to Daddy on the computer.















Then after Miranda's nap, we pulled out all our props to really get the party started. First, as of Sydney's 4th bday, no family birthday celebration would be complete without our family "Happy Birthday" banner. Next, of course we had to have our Daddy dolls attend the party, since they are the birthday guests of honor (one is even wearing a Hello Kitty party hat). Finally, we couldn't have the birthday party without the cake, so Sydney and Miranda whipped up this delicious (multicolor peg board) cake, which Sydney's been pretending is cake with candles since she was Miranda's age.















Next they sang Happy Birthday to Daddy--well, Miranda got stage fright as usual. That was the only part that was my idea, the rest they improvised! But my favorite part was when Sydney stated how old she thinks Brian is, very matter-of-factly, yet very incorrectly... (Brian, I promise I didn't tell her what to say...watch it on FB for a good laugh, I couldn't get it to upload here)!

Happy Birthday, Brian! We miss and love you, we hope you have a memorable birthday, and we hope that that nice, good cook scrounges up some real cake for you on your birthday! But if not, hope you take comfort in ours!

Rude Awakenings

I promised blog rants, and now I will deliver.

There is perhaps nothing more irritating than being awakened by my own children. And I consider myself a morning person. I wouldn't mind waking up by 6:15 am, if it was on my terms. But the way in which I am awakened is truly rude and I have to put a stop to it. If only I knew how...

Brian knows the drill, it happens when he's here, too. And even then they won't desist until I give in, get up, and answer their beck and call. Though, when Brian's not next to me, insert Mitch lately hogging more than his side of the bed. Miranda's the first greeter to arrive by 6:15 am. She squeezes into bed on my side, and at least quietly, plays listlessly with the sheets as she wakes (us) up.

Sydney storms out of her room and stumbles down the hall not more than 10 minutes later. And when she finds there's no room for her, she begins whining/screaming, which continually escalates when you tell her she's being cranky and rude and to go downstairs or back to bed. I'd even left out Cheerios on the table and cups of milk in the fridge for them, to no avail.

Who wants to stay in bed after that? So, usually I get up and regreet my life of servitude. But today, I jumped up, told them both to get in my bed (they did), and escaped to run downstairs to put the TV on. They followed whining/screaming of course, and then I wrapped them both on the couch in a blanket "nest" (separately, of course), put their milk on the table, and went back upstairs to try to regroup and watch a little news from my bed.

Problem solved? No. In just 10 minutes, Miranda had spilled her Cheerios all over the couch and had climbed into Sydney's nest. So, Sydney screamed at her and when that didn't work to get her out of the nest, ran upstairs screaming to me. Gooooood Morning to me.

Oh, it gets worse. They're now eating their second breakfast. (Yes, I realize I've created these monsters.) They each have a waffle, Miranda's on her second. When I ask Sydney if she wants more while she's looking right at me (with a glazed over look), she turns back to the TV and ignores me. I HATE THAT!!! So, I ask her two more times, raising my voice to the point of screaming when she finally turns to look at me. So, I send her to time out and tell her she may not have another waffle, she can finish the Cheerios that she didn't eat. Of course then she starts crying/whining that she wants a waffle. But I know from too many past experiences that if I make her one, she will not eat it, it's just a game to see if I give it to her. So, no way. Not today--even as mentally exhausted as I am this morning.

So, what's worse than being rudely awakened by your children? Being blatantly ignored by them. With a lot of fighting and whining in between, we've gone from one extreme to the other this morning! And there are few things as disrespectful and demoralizing and I'm sick of it--I was even before this particularly awful Saturday morning.

What have they been doing even as I write this? Fighting, whining, demanding intervention...

So there you have it, I'm having a bad day and it's only 9am, and I don't know how I'm going to get through it...or the remaining 6 months for that matter. Don't worry, I won't do anything crazy. But I may not come back from my cruise in two weeks. :)

Any other suggestions in the meantime?

Taking This Show on the Road

The girls and I (and Mitch) took this show (a circus, really) on the road to spend four days at Nana and Grandpa's over the long weekend. It was an added bonus that we had company on Valentine's Day to detract from the everyday-plus-holiday void we feel because one member of our family (my Valentine, in particular) is long gone on deployment.


It worked, we had much more fun than had we been alone at home. It even started snowing shortly after we arrived and we woke up to two inches on the ground Saturday morning. But it quickly melted, so it didn't keep me from heading out to do some cruise-related shopping--alone! And the girls were happy decorating Valentine's cookies and doing a special art project with Nana.


When the structured activities were done, the girls pitched a tent in the living room. And while snacking on bananas, they regressed to their babyhood--Miranda in the high chair and Sydney in the doll crib, both of which were mine when I was their age. Who needs dolls? But if we did, fortunately we brought our own, because still, no one will touch the vintage Cabbage Patch doll. (Twenty-five years or so later, I don't know why I'm just now seeing how they could be considered creepy.)













Just when we thought we'd received enough love on Valentine's Day, we came home to a few more tokens of love that had arrived in the mail...a dozen red roses from Brian, a care package of Valentine spa treatments from Aunt Laura, and lollipop bouquets from Aunt Cindy and Uncle Bruce!

And that silly balloon, in case you were anxiously awaiting a status update, was still flying high and showing no signs of surrendering, even though it's lost a little puffiness. I should be so lucky during this deployment...

Precious Valentines

Sydney and I had fun making these flower lollipop Valentines for her classmates. They are made with 3 heart cut-outs, overlapping with a mini Tootsie Pop (which I didn't know existed until today) stuck through to form flower petals. I cut most of the hearts out, and left 3 for Sydney to cut. She did a great job, better than I realized she could with all those curves, but that was plenty for her before she lost interest and complained that her hand hurt! Then she moved on to decorating them with stickers and the tags, which I'd also stamped in advance (again, to speed things along for my own sanity). Before we knew it, we had a bouquet! Red for the boys, pink for the girls, of course.

Miranda was also eager to help, and assigned herself the job of determining how quickly a child could rip off the flower petals and reach the center of the mini Tootsie Pop--probably broke some records there. Needless to say, we moved them out of her reach in record time; the lollipop flowers, seeking higher ground, joined the remote control and the cordless phone.

I like to think the flowers resemble plum blossoms, in bloom in Japan now most likely, although I don't expect anyone else to notice the abstraction (especially since ours have six petals, instead of five). But they made me nostalgic for Japan.

As did a trip to the mall this week. It occurred to me, once again, that a gourmet supermarket in the basement of a department store--with half regular groceries, half fabulous prepared foods vendors like in Saikaya in Japan--should've caught on in the US by now. (Not to mention the yummy sesame salad dressing one buys in such a Japanese market...nothing in America compares.) Japanese supermarkets are one-stop shopping at its best! I would definitely pay a little extra to not have to drive to a mediocre grocery store after shopping the mall for a couple hours. Is it just me? Is it only because I have two young, therefore, relatively needy children that I consider my time precious?

I don't think so. If I had more time because my children were older, one thing is certain--they wouldn't be letting me spend half my day or even a minute making silly Valentines, and cut-out heart cookies with them. But I know I'll still find my time with them later as precious as the time we've shared this week. But I realize that's because they're precious themselves, the epitome of love.

"Yes, mama, my frosting is all gone and my cookies are bare. So, I like a little cookie with my frosting. You knew this about me and still gave me my own cup of frosting..."

One Red Balloon

You might not believe me, but this heart-shaped red balloon full of helium has been floating against our ceiling for more than two weeks! Just one more and it will have served valiantly as a Valentine's Day decoration. Even if it doesn't make it that long, I think it's served its purpose. How could I ever feel deflated throughout my day in the midst of this cheerful balloon that won't quit?

Of course, maybe the memory of Nicole singing karaoke to "99 Red Balloons" in German is another reason I smile at the sustained sight of just this one.

Yes, a silly balloon reminds me to persevere, that the best things in life are free (this one is from a birthday party), and that what goes up...

Snail Mail SWAK

The girls have been dealing with Brian's deployment very well so far. Experts say children, even toddlers and preschoolers, can act out in sometimes nonverbal ways to express their concern about a deployed parent's departure. But because Sydney and Miranda seem to be verbalizing their thoughts and feelings, I'm starting to think my girls understand more than people, myself included, would generally give them credit.

We had many "prep" talks a few weeks in advance, of course, which maybe helped their understanding. Then in the two weeks before deploying, Brian went to work on the ship each day and came home, and every couple of days Sydney would ask, "Is Daddy coming home for dinner today?" She anticipated one day he wouldn't be coming home and wondered if this was the day. (We told her we'd give her a little notice, so she didn't have to worry!)

Even Miranda at times will--out of the blue--confirm that "Daddy's on a ship" in a tone that is somewhere between a statement and a question, as she positions her face directly in front of mine to get my attention, listen to my words and I suppose, read my expressions. I am always impressed when she's engaged in this special, direct way and it shows me she understands and is committing to memory more than I realized.

So rather than give Mommy extra grief, thankfully Sydney chooses to channel her thoughts of and feelings for Daddy into her crafts. (Miranda makes crafts too, but is not as interested in being creative as Sydney is, so I try to get away with doing crafts during her nap.)

Since Sydney's really into writing and mailing letters, I was excited to point out to her that we could mail letters to Daddy to make him feel better about being away from home. To encourage this, I did supply them with a few new tools to make these special letters for Daddy, including plenty of paper, blank cards, envelopes, Valentine stickers and decorations, and a few new rubber stamps--my favorites say "Snail mail" and "SWAK." Since that's literally what we're sending to Brian.

So, in the past 2 weeks, Sydney's created at least 10 different cards or letters, all of which she has placed in separate envelopes with her name sprawled in huge letters all across the front--leaving no room for an address. I'm now teaching her to leave the front blank for an address, AND trying to convince her to consolidate the cards into fewer envelopes to save on postage. And if that doesn't work, I will have to add some "Daddy wants to save a tree" logic. But I'm not sure if her artistic license will let her deviate from her creative vision and allow such logical practicality. Time will tell! (This drawing is a playground for Daddy's ship!)

And apparently even more time will tell if Brian gets his homemade treasures in time for Valentine's Day (and then his Birthday)! There is a steady stream of them on the way, so odds are good.

USS Nassau Making Headlines

Today Brian informed me the local news would be covering a heartwarming story from the USS Nassau (Wavy 10 and WVEC 13). A 2-day old Haitian baby who was delivered to Brian's ship for medical care was reunited with her mother last weekend after more than a week apart.

What the news article doesn't tell you is that it is even more of a blessing that she has been able to begin breastfeeding about 10 days post-delivery. As Brian pointed out to me, this is key because this poor baby would have had little chance for survival if the mom had not been able to breastfeed; typical resources before the earthquake didn't allow for the luxury of baby formula. So, I am relieved to hear his good news, in addition to the reunion news! The article also doesn't mention what a blessing Brian is to the Nassau and to Haiti, so I will! Keep up the great work!

Gearing Up at Home

If you'd have seen this image two weeks ago, maybe you'd have thought this was the flag of Japan. Nope, Brian whipped up this deployment calculator in Excel to help us track his deployment progress. I continue to find the red pie chart nothing short of alarming. It's only been 2 weeks since he left. But I imagine it'll get less overwhelming as time goes on; I guess it already is. Maybe it depends on how you look at it....after merely two weeks (and a day), Brian's chart informs me that the deployment is 8% over, which is more than half way to 10%, which just seems more substantial, so that's something, right?

Of course, I realize this logic assumes their return date isn't altered by any unforseen circumstances, such as their detour to Haiti...we shall see. I can't let myself get bogged down in the details.

At home, the girls and I have an old fashioned tool for counting down--a calendar, which Sydney crosses off each day with a pink marker, of course. Before he left, Brian also supplied us with some Hershey's kisses, and we filled a large jar with about 4 months worth of "kisses from Daddy" for both girls, with the assumption they won't get one quite every day...that'd be 209 pieces of chocolate each, which seems like too much. Besides, if these kisses are anything like vitamins, we're lucky if I remember to give them to the girls once a week.

The girls also have their "Daddy books," a photo flip book that I made with pictures we took with Brian while touring the USS Nassau to tell a simple story about where Daddy is (on his ship, the USS Nassau with Sydney's number, "4"), where he's going (Middle East), why (to help America and other countries), and when he'll be home (in the summertime, when we can go swimming).

And let's not forget their "Daddy Dolls," which generate quite a few snickers and jokes (I can still hear Jill laughing now...), but have seemed to offer quite a bit of comfort to the girls, especially with Brian's photo on the front and his 10-second voice message the girls can play on demand. They like to sit with "Daddy" in his favorite leather chair in the living room.

So, we are prepared and ready for the long haul, as much as we can be, anyway. In some ways, it's been easier than when Brian's coming and going, since I know I have to have stamina and patience to last 7 months and there's no one else who can do it for me. I don't find that the girls have been acting any differently (besides talking about Daddy's whereabouts in a good way, such as saying prayers for him). So I am thankful for that and it renews my confidence each day. But sometimes the usual daily challenges can still get to me, and family and friends have also been checking in on me quite frequently and giving me things to look forward to (like my cruise in 4.5 weeks!), which helps a lot and I really appreciate it!

"D (Deployment) Day"

Brian's deployment on the USS Nassau began two weeks ago, on January 18, 2010. Family members were able to board the ship the morning of his departure, which I didn't realize is a rare opportunity. Even though we've been on the ship before for a tour, it was nice being able to walk him all the way onto the ship and for the girls to see this is where he'd be for the next 7 months--not that they understand exactly how long that is.

After spending about an hour together, we said our goodbyes slightly before we were forced to, just to end the feeling of impending loss. I think I held it together pretty well, as I usually like to--despite the fact that I'm a sympathetic crier and there were many blubbering people surrounding us.

But I was surprised by the sudden lonely, sad feeling that swelled as I walked through the gangway on my way off the ship--alone and holding both tiny girls' hands, tears streaming down my face. Never before had we left the ship without Brian and it just didn't feel right. Luckily, the cold wind whipping down the pier between the ships crossed my face and dried my tears, slapping some sense back into me. I keep telling myself about the many other military spouses who experience deployments, some many more than we'll have to experience, so we, too, will get through this temporary situation...which hopefully is bettering the world, especially since the ship was diverted to Haiti to help with earthquake relief. So, I wish him fare winds and following seas, and lots of prayers.

I'm Back!

Don't know why I just haven't felt like blogging. Number one reason is, not sure my Norfolk life is all that worthy of a blog after having lived in Japan. But I guess I just need to get over that...it is what it is. Number two, if I'm honest, is too much FB! Also too busy with the girls maybe, or at least exhausted. And if I have down time after I get the daily housework done and allow myself some time, I want to spend it on my too many hobbies/projects that I've lined up for while Brian's gone. Usually I'd rather read my kindle (reading Shanghai Girls now, which is good, but a "harsh" reality), or figure out how to start sewing my first quilts/duvet covers for the girls' beds. Oh, and there's putting my past blog into book form for myself, that is definitely on my list of things to do. And I haven't even touched on the guilt I feel most days for not buckling down to earn my continuing education hours before tackling most of the above...

But I've been thinking that I've wanted to make a come back and blog to share about Brian's deployment, if for no other reason than as a keepsake for myself. And judging from the last blog, that's when I am most engaged in my blog, when I do it for myself and not for anyone else who may or may not be reading it.

But, in all honesty, thanks is in order to Kathleen, who recently pointed out that fall is long over, and winter is well on it's way, so I better get blogging...so, with a little fire under my butt, I'm back!